8 Rules for Being “Friends With Benefits”

It all starts out simple. You were friends. Then you decided to ‘get busy’. Then you both decide to remain friends and continue to get busy. That’s it…no strings attached. Spooning is OK, but no one is obligated to sleep over. No one has to call the next day to check in. Both of you can even date other people. Simple, no?

“Cuddy buddies”, “FFs”, “friends with benefits (F.W.B.)”– whatever fancy term you give it, there’s never anything simple about it.

Relationships have become increasingly carefree and physical, as women and men are marrying later in life. The boundaries between male/female relationships are less apparent and sex easily slips into the dichotomy. On the surface it makes sense to enjoy sex with someone you can trust, if you both aren’t ready for a serious relationships. But for some strange reason, F.W.B. always turns into a bad situation.

We can’t restrain you from acting on you burning loins, but can give a few tips to avoid an atrocity.

First- REMEMBER you are not his girlfriend or going to become his girlfriend by having sex with him. You are a friend, who is a girl…that’s it. If you go in (no pun, well maybe a little) expecting him to change his mind about your place in his life, you may be disappointed and left feeling like you’ve wasted your time. If you want an emotionally fulfilling relationship, seek out one, don’t try to create one.

Second- If you choose to date other people, understand that they may not be comfortable with your cuddy buddy set up. It may be difficult for them to meet your friends, if your hooking up with one of them.

Third- Don’t sweat the small stuff. All the common relationship courtesy’s don’t apply. He doesn’t have to call. He doesn’t have to meet your other friends. He doesn’t have to mention you to his friends. And foreplay is appreciated, but not required.

Fourth- Don’t become territorial. REMEMBER you are not his girlfriend.

Fifth- Lil Wayne said it best, “don’t get too comfortable”. Unless you’ve created a time chart for how long your special meet ups will take place, they can end abruptly.

Sixth- Be discreet, don’t get too touchy in public and only tell a select number of friends. Once again, if one of you decides to date an outside person they will not appreciate everyone in your circle knowing you two have had relations.

Seventh- Avoid being F.W.B. with a close friend. Hooking up with acquaintances is always an ideal situation because you don’t run into them on a regular basis.

Eighth- Understand your relationship will never be the same again. There’s something about seeing another person naked that changes everything. If you value your relationship platonically, be leery of taking it in another direction. Biologically, sex educes hormones in women that creates a sense of happiness and loyalty that can manifest into emotional attachment. Biologically for men, sex educes hormones that put them to sleep. See the difference

Alexis Jordan Is Jay-Z’s New Girl Next Door

Jay-Z has an eye for talent. Under his guidance he’s ignited the careers of many young artists and Alexis Jordan is next. Roc Nation’s sweetheart recently chatted with Madame Noire about her recent rise to success and upcoming album, Happiness. Her debut single, “Happiness”, recently dropped and went straight to No. 1 of Billboard Magazine’s Dance Airplay chart.

It’s always refreshing to see artists, with actual talent, make it in the industry. Constantly changing, show business may think you’re great one day and wack the next. Luckily, we recognize true talent which is why Jordan is the first of our Madames Rising series where we showcase women making moves in the entertainment industry.

The best part about her: She keeps her clothes on! No need to strut around half-dressed to command attention, her talent stands for itself. And like she said, “I don’t need to be half naked. Men like a little mystery.”

This girl knows her stuff.

Real Men Like Real Hair – Why Weaves Don’t Work

Anslem “NWSO” Samuel’s Naked With Socks On is an award-winning relationship blog. Each week, NWSO will share his candid thoughts on women, love, life and all the fun stuff in between with MadameNoire.

If you pay attention to the images portrayed in magazines and mainstream movies, most will have you believe that all men are stuck on the idea of their women having long hair. Whether it’s Beyoncé or Tamika up the block, achieving that look usually means getting a weave, tracks, wig, or whatever other follicle trickery beauticians use to fake the funk. That’s not to say that a black woman can’t have naturally long hair without assistance, but more times than not that sister with the ponytail is actually rocking a phony tail.

I for one am a man that appreciates natural hair. Be it locks, an Afro, curly tresses or even a low-cut Caesar, I admire a woman that is comfortable in her own skin and hair. There’s just a certain sexiness and confidence I get from a woman that decides to defy the norm by rockin’ the hair God gave her. Again, that’s no knock against sisters that prefer a perm and extensions, but natural hair is more my speed. But maybe I’m alone in that distinction.

Mainstream media beats us over the head with images of longhaired women being the ideal form of beauty. From childhood ideas of beauty that defy our own African heritage are what we’re exposed to. Our daughters grow up playing with Barbie dolls that have silky smooth hair and watching cartoons that highlight the same features. Somewhere along the way our sons learn early on to pay more attention to the girls with “good hair.” A few parents make a concerted effort to teach their kids diversity, but for the most part we all wind up repeating the same cycle.

Young girls grow into women that can’t wait to get their hair did and balk at the idea of getting caught in the rain for fear of reverting back to their “nappy” roots. Young boys grow into men that chase short skirts and long hair for sport. As a result, black hair care is a multi-billion dollar industry, where perms, weaves and wigs are the norm. Even women that sport short cuts, like Rihanna and Halle Berry, are guilty of layering their tresses with tracks and extensions, while most guys are clueless.

Essence.com Beauty Editor Tia Williams recently hit the streets of Harlem, NY to see is men could tell which celebrities had long African-American hair or weaves. Needless to say, the ladies had the brothers fooled. Truthfully, the average man probably can’t tell the real from the fake with hair (or anything else for that matter) unless a woman is wearing an extremely bad weave.

All we care about is whether or not a woman can treat us as good as she looks. Now that’s real

—Anslem “NWSO” Samuel

Rooney sorry for pitch outburst

Wayne Rooney has apologised for "any offence caused" by his post-match rant at England's fans in Cape Town on Friday night.

Wayne Rooney has apologised for "any offence caused" by his post-match rant at England's fans in Cape Town on Friday night.

As he made his way off the pitch following the goalless draw with Algeria, Rooney turned to a television camera and condemned the fans who had booed the Three Lions' performance, before swearing.

But, after reflection, Rooney said in a statement issued by the Football Association: "On reflection I said things in the heat of the moment that came out of frustration of both our performance and the result. For my part I apologise for any offence caused by my actions at the end of the game."

The 24-year-old allowed his frustrations to spill over after failing to score in his sixth consecutive tournament game, a run that dates back to Euro 2004.

Rooney's overall display was well below his usual level, prompting further questions to be raised about the Manchester United man's fitness.

Clearly agitated at a draw that left England in third place in Group C and outside the top two qualifying slots ahead of their final game with Slovenia in Port Elizabeth on Wednesday, Rooney snapped: "Nice to see your own fans booing you. If that's what loyal support is."

He then muttered a swear word as he walked towards the home dressing room, which was subsequently entered by an unauthorised supporter, shortly after the departure of Prince William and Prince Harry, prompting a major police inquiry.

With such a big match now looming and the pressure on him to deliver mounting, Rooney has taken the correct course of action by dealing with the matter so swiftly. And he has also issued a rallying cry he hopes will lead to unity as England chase that crucial victory this week.

"I am as passionate about the England team as anyone," he added. "The most important thing now is to regroup, be positive and work towards winning the game on Wednesday.

"To do this the players will need the support of the fans more than ever."

ati Men hurt more when they are broken hearted!!! do they even have hearts? lol

sorry, could help that...feminist in me...errrrr...no, take that back..but seriously u think there is any truth in this?

After any of your heart-wrenching breakups with men, you probably thought you were suffering like “no man’s business.” Well, you weren’t…particularly because ‘man’ suffers way more than you in the break-up business. In fact, according to a new study, broken hearts destroy men just a little bit more than women. Hmm. You’d think they’d be nicer about it then, ay? More details after the jump…

Women may shed more tears over a busted romantic relationship, but men suffer the greater emotional toll, researchers say.

In a study of more than 1,000 men and women, ages 18 to 23, researchers found that unhappy romances cause men more emotional grief, including threatening their identity and feelings of self-worth. Young men and women express their distress at a breakup differently. Women are more likely to feel depressed after a breakup, while men are more likely to have substance-abuse problems.

Men may be more affected by a breakup because their romantic partners are their primary source of intimacy. Women, however, are more likely to have other close relationships with friends or family members to turn to for support, said the study’s author, Robin Simon of Wake Forest University.

Nonmarital relationships are important to a young adult’s well-being, Simon said. “However, the advantages of partner support and disadvantages of partner strain are more closely associated with men’s than women’s mental health,” she wrote.

The study is published in the June issue of the Journal of Health and Social Behavior.

Source

Reported by Shari Roan, for Los Angeles Times

I GOT MYSELF A SPONSOR!

Okay so Teaira Marie put a fancy word to it, that makes it sound less hoochie like! lol...am trying to help those who try to justify why women do this...so Gold Digger? or sponsee? lol?


Everybody’s got a hustle. Some people work 9 to 5. Others don’t need an office make money as professional gold diggers. But as women, is “gold digger” a name that should offend us?

Merriam-Webster’s definition of “gold-digger”: A person who uses charm to extract money or gifts from others.

The term “gold digger” usually gets women’s panties all in a bunch, because those types of women are seen as paid sex toys doing whatever a man requests, for money– similar to another profession. They want to be ‘kept’ and not work for their own. It doesn’t sound right, because it really isn’t OK to have ulterior motives in relationships or be completely dependent upon someone else. Also, it’s not safe for anyone to be completely financially dependent on someone (single or married).

Baje Fletcher, author of A Gold Digger’s Guide received criticism on her advice book on how to “get what you want without giving it up”. According to her, “Gold digger is a phrase coined by men and used as a method of reverse psychology on women.” She added, “However, women also use it against each other in hopes of putting the other down. [Gold digger is] a term created so women expect less from the male species and experience episodes called: guilt trips if they dare suggest that anything related to finances is expected from the opposite sex.”

From a survival point of view, Fletcher makes sense. Historically, women are gatherers and men hunters; instinctively we want a partner that can provide for home and heart. Although we shouldn’t weed out men by the amount in their trust-fund, it is OK to want someone who can financially support your home (could consider your take home income as well). On the flip side, this doesn’t mean that we should discount men who make less than us.

It’s really about balance and being genuine in all relationships. If moola is a major issue, make it plain, but it shouldn’t be the only reason to be involved with a man…that’s just dangerous

"THANKS TO MASE, I STOPPED STRIPPING! "- EVE

Mase may have received backlash for his constant shift between being a pastor and a rapper in the past, but he's actually done some good for many. It was long reported that he told DMX to go on the straight and narrow -- even though it didn't work. But, he also helped another member of the Ruff Ryders when they were going nowhere.

That rapper was Eve.

In an interview Eve did for a recent episode of VH1's "Behind The Music" on her life and career, the female rapper revealed that before the fame, she was going down a dark path. And, it wasn't until Mase gave her some words of encouragement that she finally focused.

According to the upcoming special, Eve was a stripper in Philadelphia when a chance encounter with Mase took place ... and it changed her life.

"He came into the club and looked at me and literally was like, 'What's your name?' And I gave him every stripper name under the sun! I was like, 'I'm Ginger, I'm Sassy!' He was like, 'Why don't you go get dressed, let's go just talk,' " Eve said. "And we did, we talked throughout the night. He was like, 'You're really talented. What are you doing? You know you're not supposed to be here. You know it.'

She says having a celebrity of that stature at the time tell her she had skills confirmed what she's beleived all along.

"It was a confirmation for me that all these thoughts, all this sadness. All these times that I wake up in the morning, I'm like, 'Why do I feel like this?' And I know I'm not supposed to be there. It just woke me up," the rapper explained.

From there, Eve decided to focus on her music.

At 18 years old, Even audition for Aftermath A&R, Mike Lynn, who was impressed by her skills. Mike introduced her to Dr. Dre, who signed her to Aftermath.

But, the deal didn't work out. Months after she was signed, Dre found an unknown white rapper named Eminem and Eve was released shortly after.

Luckily, Eve didn't stop. She eventually hooked up with the Ruff Ryders camp ... and the rest is history.

Mike Lynn, A&R of Aftermath Records. After one verse and hook he knew he had a star.

Mike introduced Eve to Dr Dre who signed her to a record deal. But after Eminem came into the picture, Aftermath released her after only 8 months.

Eventually she got a chance to audition for Ruff Ryders and the rest is history.

The episode of "Behind the Music" featuring Eve aired on Monday (June 14) on VH1. Head over to VH1.com for clips from the show, as well as bonus footage.

Megan Fox just broke the hearts of millions of men, because she's off the market now.

Megan Fox just broke the hearts of millions of men, because she's off the market now.

Apparently, Brian Austin Green, of "Beverly Hills 90210" fame, proposed to the actress in Hawaii ... and she said yes.

Her rep confirmed the new with Us Weekly this week that Green popped the question earlier this month ...

"Yes, she is engaged," her rep tells Us.

After the proposal, the ring was reportedly lost in the excitement, and the hotel's staff combed the beach to look for it, but it was never recovered.

"I saw her jumping up and down," a witness told the magazine of the beachside proposal at the Four Seasons Hualalai hotel on the Big Island in Hawaii. "Later, I saw a half dozen staff sifting through the sand."

The witness added that no one ever found it.

It was reportedly a 2-carat monster, which Fox and Green picked out together from Excalibur jewelry store in Beverly Hills. That sucks...

Congrats to the couple.